This place like to bring the weird shit, don't it?

Lady, any plans on cooking in the near future?

So, appparently I had an apartment this whole time. Normally this would rock, 'cept somebody tried to blow my fucking foot off as soon as I walked in the door. Lady, seriously, you better buy me a new pair of boots. The food was good but not that good. And to top it all off this thing hasn't stopped following me around for the last few days, and is really starting to creep me out.

So. Who can tell me what fucking rabbit hole I fell down, and how can I get the hell out?

((ooc: see devilingenuity's post for the details of his return~

Yes I am lazy SHUT UP))

Hey. Now that we all survived the second ice age, anyone hungry?

Alright. So the question of the day is: Who all is cursed, and where are you?

You know what? Fuck you, City. I liked that glove.


[ooc: what, you were expecting some badass lawl-a-demon-ripped-me-to-shreds kind of wound? nah, the only thing dante's sporting is a slash to the palm of his right hand (through the leather, no less), that dear old vergil gave him when he fell into hell.]

Holy shit, I think I finally found my alcohol limit. I've been pretty fucked up before but. Huh. Never hallucinated a talking wolf before. How 'bout that?

You know, Doumeki. You just had to give the City the idea to punish me for that awesome curse, didn't you? Thanks pal, really, I mean it.

Also, this just in: Meryl, I'm pretty sure I've healed enough to be able to feed myself.

Hey, Meryl. Tomorrow at 1, I'll be at Cafe Juliet if you still want to talk.

In other news, that last curse was awesome.

I'm not here.

Hi, my name is Lady, and I'm a moron. I like doing stupid things even when people tell me not to, even if it means getting my ass handed to me. Dante is an awesome guy and I take back every horrible thing I've said about him ever.

Signed, the chick bleeding all over his couch.

[Ooc: Lawl. Dante, this is what happens when you underestimate people like Legato. Vergil's been busted out, and Dante is just a bitttt fucked up. He's just stabbed himself through the chest with Rebellion while both his legs were snapped like twigs |D ]

[Accidental voice post:

There's the very unique sound of a sword being pulled out, as well as some accompanying gasping cursing and coughing because yeah it nicked a lung.]

Son of a cunt.

( lawl screenshot )

Vergil, the internet hates you. You should only see what they posted later.


You know? It's pretty fucking bad when even /b/ can't keep me entertained.

Seriously, Vergil? Can I not leave you alone? Because I'm just going to say, I'm way too fucking old to be a babysitter.

Well huh.

So what'd I miss?

Rumor has it your girlfriend is here, kid.

Check by the bed, I left a box of condoms for you there (though I only keep Magnums. You could try a rubber band or hell maybe even the rhythm method if you're feeling lucky though, yeah?). I got some Barry White albums, and there's whipped cream in the fridge.

No need to thank me, man. Just looking out for you, since you could be my son and all. Your age fits way too fuckin' well for comfort after all, and come on, no one with half a brain cell can argue against a resemblance. Fuck if it doesn't weird my shit out, too.

Goddamnit, now I need to go scope out a bench for the night. Actually, might crash Vergil's place on second thought. Nero, don't blow this. And for the love of god wash the sheets.

...
...
...
Someone will die for this.

The verdict is in: Gay, straight, he's still a bitch-ass little cocksucker.

Now someone care to explain who the fuck all these people are?

Come one, come all, now taking bets on closet-case's sexuality!

(ooc: Nero is currently locked in Dante's closet for torching all of Dante's pizza stash.)

See, Lady? This is why I prefer my liquids of the alcoholic and non-water variety. Because seriously guys, what the FUCK was in the water today?

Also kid, we're crashing building 12. My old place smells like ass.